no longer my own #WesleyCovenant

I am no longer my own but thine.

The first line of Wesley’s Covenant Prayer relinquishes all rights to God. It turns over everything. Everything that I did that brilliant, wonderful, amazing, and great is God’s. Everything that I worry and fret over should become God’s as well. (Matthew 6:25-34)

The problem is I don’t believe this. I want to believe this, but I don’t.

Everyday I want to say it is all God’s, but something stops me. I fail to acknowledge God working in my life when I get boastful over what I have done. I fail to turn it all over when I hold onto accomplishments. I fail to give up everything when I want to hold onto my worries that keep me up all night. I fail to give up my pride and ambition. I fail to give up my envy. I fail to give up stuff that takes God’s place. I believe that I have the tendency to reverse Wesley’s Covenant Prayer.

I am no longer yours but mine!

So part of my journey of growth this year has been to pray the Jesus prayer whenever I find myself getting too caught up in things I want to hold onto. When I start to get jealous or worried or proud, I pray, “Lord Jesus, son of God, have mercy upon me a sinner.” It has been a powerful stabilizing prayer in my life. Through this prayer I have been able to realize that at my core I am still a sinner in desperate need of God’s mercy.

pax+